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June 2017


‘B’ is for Beautiful

Abstract created by  jwOo @pincraft17

‘B’ is for Beautiful

Sometimes this is all you need to hear.

I’m not saying that you need an ego boost or that you want to feel extra confident. What I am saying is, that you want to hear that you are a beautiful person. There are many people who are pretty, stunning, who have admirable features that you may wish you had, but that one person may not be beautiful.

I used to look at women who in my opinion were beautiful, wear the most lovely clothes, carry a designer handbag and go on the most fabulous holidays. I used to gaze at pictures and wish I had some of that beauty. I would look at my teeth and wish they didn’t cross over at the front, I would look at 4inch heel shoes in shops and wish I was shorter. I would secretly compete with friends to want to look the best with regards to outfits or lipstick colour. Yes envious or jealous of others – it was one of the two. When I reflect I think wow I might not have been a nice person if all I would concentrate on was ‘outer’ beauty. Or is this norm for a female? Do all young women go through these emotions but just won’t admit it?

When I reflect I can now see I had so many insecurities. But why was I so insecure? Why did I feel like I was not good enough to feel beautiful, be beautiful. There are many factors that allude to answering this question.

Infidelity is one cause for so many men and women to not feel beautiful. You don’t feel good enough. You feel that you’re always in competition with the unknown. You are always looking in the mirror asking yourself why? What did I do wrong and am I not good enough? I remember dying my hair blonde because the person I was cheated on had blonde hair – my hair turned ginger….yes ginger! I then started with blonde highlights instead which didn’t look right either. My next fad was the gym, I wanted to achieve a flat tummy and perky bum, not realising that unless I was going to attend the gym every day whilst carrying out at least 100 squats a week I was never going to get there. I suffered from the same disorder most women experiencing insecurities do. I was too fat, too skinny, too pale, too dark, and too tall.  Whatever it was, I felt that I was never good enough. Even if I was good enough, my insecurities were larger that the reality at that time.

 My imperfections were too imperfect

When was the last time someone called you Beautiful?

Not being told you are Beautiful can be another cause for feeling insecure. I tell my nearest and dearest all the time, that they are beautiful. Even now I would rather bring someone else up and help them find their beauty than think about my own – I guess that in itself is beauty. As I have mentioned before, there are so many beautiful ‘looking’ people out there, but are they really beautiful?

 You have to love yourself before others can love you

However, this is something you learn. Growing up as a child, as I have mentioned before, I was the eldest therefore had a lot of responsibilities. At the crucial time of adolescence. At the time when your body is changing and the world around is so big you feel lost. When you’re sat in class looking at all the beauty around you wishing you was like them. I suppose as a child you don’t understand the meaning of ‘real’ beauty. I can’t remember being told I was a beautiful person. In fact, do people actually say that to their children? I don’t know? But what I do know is that every day I tell both my sons that they are beautiful and handsome. They are smart and special, because “the words your parents say are the words you grow to believe”.

I never used to think I was insecure or lacked confidence but I suppose I did. Now this is another blog in itself, but one thing I have learnt, is that when you do lack inner confidence and don’t believe that you are beautiful, then you become somebody else.

 Beauty from the inside can only but show Beauty on the outside

Along my journey I have definitely learnt that beauty comes from within. When your intentions are pure and when you want to give or help genuinely. When you wish to see the best in others before making negative judgement calls. If you ever feel that someone is unsettling your peace of mind or trying to rock your conscious place of sanity, they are trying to move your ‘happy place’ and try and put untruths or bad minded information in your head – don’t let it happen.  They are only showing their ugliness, their insecurities and definitely an example of non-beauty.

Does it matter…?

• That you don’t wear the most designer clothes and sometimes don’t coordinate your style, so that others can make a judgement call on the class you are placed in.

• That you are a stone heavier from having your ‘beautiful’ new born and that you haven’t ‘bounced back’ as quick as your neighbour, because your body is just not like theirs.

• If you are a Cleaner or a Lawyer – does your profession provide you with a clean heart?

• If you don’t do the things others want you to do because you decided you don’t want to  – yes YOU have decided to do what you want

Please tell me who cares? Those with a Shallow Mind? The ones who do care are not the ones you really want to have in your life – some people can be ugly enough and hard enough to comprehend, for you to try and live up to their expectations.

You are Beautiful.

I am Beautiful. I love my crossed over front teeth, I embrace my height and i totally understand that any of these two things does not make me Beautiful, what makes me Beautiful  is who I am, what I feel, how I treat others and certainly how I Love. Everything else are just material and we all know those are the things that can come and go……

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